scared… [wrap-up]

1 10 2008

I walked away with all my beef intact and rueing the fact that I grew up learning how to respect females, coz of their ability to say numerous things and build up no case what-so-ever because of hormones… (i might get a little stick coz of this)

I went about my business and focused on the test/ exam I had the next Monday

Did it, only to come back to me digs and find another note at my digs telling me the usual… except that this time it said…

“dude, I am sorry, I will come by later this evening… Uneek-Ness”

I really wanted to stay, but she took a while and when I walked out to grab a bite, I came back and found another note saying…

“you have no idea….”

Anyways, I waited for a little bit before I headed to her digs and left a note…

And before I could split, she found me in the stairwell

Saying to me;

Uneek: Basix… so now you made the trip

Basix: yeah, I owe you a visit

Uneek: I just wanted to say something

Basix: Go on…. but can’t we sit somewhere

Uneek: want a coffee, a glass of juice or something

Basix: I guess so… coffee black would be dope

Uneek: come and make it then

Basix: somethings never change huh!!

Uneek: it’s coz of you and your specifics when making coffee

A coupla minutes later on the balcony

Basix: so how were the books, exams shyte?

Uneek: I think I’m pregnant

Basix: Whatever, tell me about the last test…

Uneek: Dawg, didja hear what I said??

Basix: yeah, I did… I am just trying to process the shyte… you sure?

Uneek: Hmmn…

Basix: Aww cmon Uneek-ness, I am just saying shyte… have you seen a daktari? I understand you could have missed your period, and shyte seems crazy, but have you seen the daktari??

Uneek: that’s what I need you for? I can’t do it alone…

Basix: oh, but you know that we didn’t do the monkey biz..

Uneek: we did so…

Basix: Hehehehehehehehe; now may not be the time, but my lines were ineffective on you… you seemed to want me for a longer time..

Uneek: shudd-up before I pour this coffee on you

At that point in time, I am looking at Uneek, and thinking to me’self….

She ain’t the one I want to be with forever…/ She ain’t the one who I want to wake up with/ I actually don’t see me’self with her for more than the next few months…./ I am not falling for her../ She can’t be my wfe… so how can she be the mother of “our” kids….

No No!

I acted like a man high on trees… perhaps

Was very calm, and just chilled out a while…

She asked if I was ok…/ And I said no…

I asked her what if….

positives…

negatives….

Anyways….

The evening went on,. I crashed at her digs… and this time we had protection, but I disappointed her… she was very silent for the next three days…

Till I turned up at hers and told her we should go see the daktari…

I manned the f**k up and told the daktari the whole situation

He said not to worry (like they always do huh??)

A few days later, I got the call to get the results and picked them up and went to her digs…

Turned out she was just hallucinating….

She had some weird ish, that only turns up if she gets “excited”

I was clean, she was on medication and her condition had messed up her cycle…

Must confess now that that was one scary chapter of my life…

Me and her are still buddies, but since she went back to Naivasha, wait Nairobi, she went quiet on me…. she emailed me the other week asking how me love life is going…

I sent her the above post and she did precisely what we should have done then

We laughed….

Was another lesson learned especially on her side though….

She taught me to be calm under pressure…

ok, just kidding the school rugby team taught me that… what with their huge taclkes coming out of no-where…

But anyways, thanks Uneek-ness…

~b2b~out~


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33 responses

1 10 2008
valentia

me first!!

1 10 2008
valentia

Okie Phew!!!!!!!!! If y’all hadn’t done anything why was she so convinced you had??? Anyhu, at least it had a happy ending..

As for the hormones thingie…don’t mess with it..

1 10 2008
Miss Cheri

SOCKS…ahhhh, this make sme feel a bit better.
Don’t squint Valentia, I saw u!

“…I walked away with all my beef intact and rueing the fact that I grew up learning how to respect females…” THERE’S SO MANY THINGS I CAN DO WITH THAT STATEMENT, B2B, BUT LEMME SHUT UP.

1 10 2008
tumwijuke

Hallucinating about getting preggers? Yeah right. Kyoka you man and your bu stories! Did she hallucinate about the sex as well?

For the record, I wish she had been telling the truth. Condoms are dirt cheap. You can come to my office for a couple of free Rough Rider.

😉

1 10 2008
Miss Cheri

Yikes.

Dude, this is too explicit for my innocent eyes. Next time warn us to wear shades/sunglasses/sun goggles before read your posts.

Lol, u missed the opportunity to be a Kenyan baby daddy.

1 10 2008
Miss Cheri

Tumwi, u have advertised. I’m gonna collect all my bayaye and we come for some free rough rider.

1 10 2008
Mr. B2B...

@Val
i hear you about the hormones…
they can really mess up a whole lotta things…

@Tumwi
this is not a story..
better yet, not one of my bu-stories..

Me, her and the daktari were kind of taken aback..

thanks for the dirt cheap condoms…

@Cheri
Spare me the innocence, leave that for Aivan…
Learning how to respect females is a drag…,coz they think you are “weak”
But when they get to now you better…

1 10 2008
Solomon King

Dude… this is an anti-climax!! We were all waiting for the part where you come out of the closet and say you’re a dad…

*sigh* disappointment runs rife…

1 10 2008
Mudamuli

Ok. Didn’t expect the story to end like this.

1 10 2008
Princess

LOL. I knew you were gonna throw in a lesson somewhere. 🙂
No irresponsibility for Mr. B2B! 😛

1 10 2008
lulu

tumwi you keep rough rider? am shy! anyhoo, whats the story, i kinda get lost on it

1 10 2008
KK

LOL… Calmly indeed

1 10 2008
valentia

@ Cheri..this time I take it all..socks, boots, headwraps and lesos included..I have squinted!

2 10 2008
Freedom

I feel you on thinking to yourself ‘PleZZZe don’t let this girl be pregnant’..lol because being stuck with a person that you don’t want to be stuck with…and you’re only suck together because of a baby would really suck lol. You would love the baby don’t get me wrong, but kinda wish the child was from someone you really loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

You were cool fella in your moment of being “scared”..lol.

Oh yeah, always remember. Guys that DO Respect the ladies WILL receive a GRREAT reward for there efforts! Trust ME on THIS!

PEACE!

2 10 2008
Sybella

do you ever think about what your life would have been like had the doctor said she was pregnant?

2 10 2008
Mr. B2B...

@solo
i hear you.. but well..

@mudamuli
Yeah, didn’t see it coming too..

@princess
thanks for that
no irresponsibility at all..

@lulu
Tumwi is just being real Lulu..
you lost on what exactly…

@KK
Hehehehe

@Val
Awww Cmon, not you too!!

@Freedom
Hey, you know you just said some real shyte…
it makes me think of a few peeps who i really love!

@Sy
yeah, i used to think about it a lot…
Y’know that Uneek was a really understadning woman, with patience to die for when you needed it..

she would have been a dope Momz, but i didn’t “feel” her like that…

i am sure that the baby would have been a beautiful little girl… with Uneekness’ eyes…. and crazy attitude

2 10 2008
DeTamble

LOOOOOOOOOOOL!! THis is goood!! One of the better ones, ’twas fucking hilarious!!

2 10 2008
chanelno5

Hahahaha. Mbu Daktari. Basix you are roko

2 10 2008
chanelno5

At that point in time, I am looking at Uneek, and thinking to me’self….

She ain’t the one I want to be with forever…/ She ain’t the one who I want to wake up with/ I actually don’t see me’self with her for more than the next few months…./ I am not falling for her../ She can’t be my wfe… so how can she be the mother of “our” kids….

NOW I AM STILL EMBARASSED AS A WOMAN READING THAT. DAMN!!!!

2 10 2008
Carlo

Me I don’t believe y’all could be this freaked, both of you, when nothing happened. How? You went to bed and your sperm stealthily found its way to her ovary? Hmmmmm, very suspect indeed.

2 10 2008
31337

tee hee. basically dodged a bullet.

2 10 2008
nikki indigo

and THIS is why you can’t ever fuck without protection. lol. that was just SCARY.

2 10 2008
Apr9

Uneek: I think I’m pregnant

Basix: Whatever, tell me about the last test…

REAL B2B? I bet u broke into a cold sweat.

B2B….u still went for seconds b4 u went to the doc. Men are something else.

Lesson well learned/learnt….how old would ur daughter be now? Wen all is said and done its a good laugh.

3 10 2008
Mr. B2B...

@DeTamble
Thanks for chuckling with me..
Looking back, its the only thing i can do….

@Chanel
But you, daktari is Doctor in Kiswahili….
but i am assuming you knew that, huh!!

@Chanel
Yeah, i know what you mean..

@Carlo
I missed out a part in the earlier post, sorry

@3
In a way yeah…

@Nikki
You have no idea..

@Apr9
i didn’t go back for seconds Apr..

Read below:
[I crashed at her digs… and this time we had protection, but I disappointed her… she was very silent for the next three days…]

That clear?

Infact i stayed away from her for 3 days after that coz she was “closing me out” Hmmmn…

The little girl would have been turning 6 this year most likely in December…

3 10 2008
the antipop

dawg?
she called you dawg?
dawg!

3 10 2008
Mr. B2B...

@The Auntie Pop..

YEah, seh called me Dawg

as in what it is dawg?

3 10 2008
the antipop

anyhow, it is nice to hear it turned out well for you. so pregnancy tests take days to come out these days? i thought it was like 15 minutes? how do i know you might ask? well, i like to read up on things. honest. I swear to God!

3 10 2008
the antipop

no shit? she called you dawg!OH man! you guys were like mates! she was like one of the guys! no wonder you did not want to spend the rest of your life with the dude!

3 10 2008
plaguedsoul

hi. i think i might have copied your template but lease forgive me. otherwise, please check out http://opentherapy.wordpress.com/
you might find it relevant

6 10 2008
Tandra

i had organised myself to complain that u havent written in 5 days.. i know u try to do the week thing, naye maaaaama!

Kati plagued soul has just cracked me up.. LOL… opentherapy? LOL…

8 10 2008
RAMBLINGS « Chanelno5’s Weblog

[…] saying reminds me of this […]

5 05 2009
Sleek

great story man…scary..but nice

12 08 2010
Flecks of gold

That was a close shave and u have no idea until u you read diaper backwards…

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