Gentlemanliness

6 10 2008

I wonder if chivalry ever managed to get anyone anything from the ladies..

Seriously speaking, all the guys I know who have ladies running after them never had good manners, always wore their hair rugged, never shaved more than once a month, and as such always had that rough (read ruff) look, never ever chased the ladies, and on and on and on…

I grew up under strict tutelage from my sister, and momz, plus more guidance from every aunt in my jurisdiction made me learn how to respect women…Coupled with the fact that Dad was/ is a very patient man, made me wonder so many times..

So in retrospect, opening doors for momz, carrying heavy equipment for my sister obviously never got me anywhere near being laid, but rather a coupla sore hands, and tired legs, especially when I was being a gentleman and standing while she was sitting in the only chair…

As you do advance in age, it starts to matter at a certain point how you treat people…. in all walks of life too… starting with your peers, your teachers, your relatives who come home at that time approaching school time, and on and on…

The way you treat females however is always a weird type scenario…

At first it doesn’t matter how you treat them…. read my ~lips~, you walk before them, you slam the door in their face(s), you don’t compliment them, you generally don’t give a hoot about them… The best sources of information about women are indeed women. You get a very basic idea on what they want from them, i.e. your sister, your aunt, your cousin, your neighbour (oh, the neighbour!!) and then some…

You learn that they love to be listened to, and not made fun of lest you are actually just playing, and also not to hurt their feelings without knowing…

So, Cheri, when I said that I grew up knowing how to respect women, the fact that what she said bored me, the way I could have retaliated could have made it worse, in that she could most prolly never talk to me again with what I was gwan say…

We men have the capacity to say the meanest things to women, and the worst part is that we are not aware of how what we say hurts/ affects these women….

(The worst part about it is when you hear women talking spitefully about other women…)

Back to the lecture at hand, being a gentleman has its perks, but it is only really recognised if you match the other basics that go with being a gentleman…

– hang out with a lady…

– dress cleanly more often than not, (not_smartly_but_cleanly)

– watch your words around women,

– crack clean jokes,

– listen animatedly (ok, this one is kinda suspect, huh Dante?)

etc….. etc….

truth be told, when chics are growing up, they tend to believe that they want a gentleman…. hehehehe

that is until they meet your average badboi, who makes the word whirlwind seem like a nursery rhyme… they get swept away, and literally enjoy the ride(s) before they grow old(er) and realize that as much as they want to enjoy the bad side, they want to change him, and make him their badboi gentleman… (that is a post for another day)

I am not sure where this post is going, except all I wanted to say is fellaz, be the gentleman around her. And make sure she knows that the effort is real, and not leading up to anything. This can be achieved by being a little consistent;

listen to her first,/

smile when she cracks lame humour/

and laugh out loud when she cracks real humour /

and most of all just let her be a lady, and she will return the favour…

DeTamble, you here yet???


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37 responses

6 10 2008
Sherry Darling

STOCKINGS!!!

6 10 2008
Sherry Darling

This is too long, and I have a heap of work, hence….

6 10 2008
Sybella

we like a bad boy gentleman… and not only when we are around… think you guys can handle that balance?

@cheri… so all you came for are your stockings? really darling…

6 10 2008
Chanel

mayi fulendi you put it rightly so. That is why you are mayi fulendi. And you reek of this gentlemanliness business.

6 10 2008
mrslish

My brother from another mother..I feel what you’re saying, but most women don’t like nice guys. I had to come to grips with this well known fact in my early 20’s…Figured If I couldn’t beat them might as well join them…So I went on to break a few hearts thinking it was the macho thing to do, but it wasn’t…I realised that women weren’t attracted to the bad boy it was the strength and confidence thet drew them in…So I revamped my technique and gave them a little confidence mixed with generosity..It worked wonders for me…

Women love a leader and need a protector B2B…

6 10 2008
The Emrys

this gentlemanliness business doesn’t rock, until you have spent some considerable time in that relationship(speaking from a little experience)

6 10 2008
Solomon King

I only live by one mantra:

The name’s King, Solomon King.

6 10 2008
Apr9

I want to think we like a lil’ bit of both worlds…..badboi and a gentleman at the same tym.

Don’t respect a man who lets me get my way.

6 10 2008
Solomon King

And just to follow up on my mantra up there. What I mean is Like the bond man himselef, a combination of the reckless and the suave, a gentleman with some unrefined edges. Kinda comes natural coz I’m still trying to figure out where I lie.

2 cents worth.

6 10 2008
Kobayashi

Basics is spreading Brother Martins Gospel.

7 10 2008
Freedom

i THINK THAT WAS AN EXCELLENT POST!

AMEN!

7 10 2008
Freedom

One more thing B2B..

Women feel the same way. Men say they want the nice sweet good girls to take home to momma, but that’s not true. They want the girls that will give up the goodies easily, they want the woman that will dog them out and cuss them out. they want the woman who will max out their credit cards. While the good women are Contemplating dishing the good girl way and crossing over to being just as triffin as some men that don’t respect them!

7 10 2008
the antipop

Edmund something something, will you make me the happiest woman on earth and …?

7 10 2008
chanelno5

Yes we want a bad boy not a heartbreaker always puts you on tension always has you kissing his ass. Who wants a man like that? I want a bad boy gentleman who will give me a piss of his mind when I act stupid but know when to stop shouting. The makeup sex now thats what I am looking for here. In fact I will go the extra mile to deliberatly annoy start a fight and then get what I want. When you find a yes yes man B.O.R.I.N.G. Give me Mr dirty mouth anytime of day. Man I better shout up before I give out too much

7 10 2008
Igis

….taking notes from the post and the comments

7 10 2008
petesmama

There is no law against being a gentleman and a bit of a bad boy.

No one wants a total rogue or a total wuss either.

7 10 2008
Solomon King

LOL. Chanel. That Mr Dirty Mouth reminds me of that stray “Peepee” guy from Boston Legal.

Dude was messed up.

7 10 2008
Mr. B2B...

@Cheri
Is that it??

@Cheri
Mbu…

work..
then when i don’t pay attention, you start tripping!! Banange!!

@Sy
Hehehehe
Oh you have no idea huh!! none at all, too bad Mrs Basix knows a lot more, otherwise??

@Chanel
Reeking huh?

@Slish
Dawg…
well said, and thanks for dropping your two cents… (seems like a cool million to me mate)

I am revamping my technique, and make sure i become the leader and protector mate…
Cheers Slish

@TheEmrys
Dawg, i totally hear you loud and clear!!

@SoloKing
Hehehehe
mantra indeed… but in due time Solo, due time…

@Kobayashi
Hehehe
Bro Martin…. you remember that cat/ amazing how stuff keeps coming back huh!!

@Freedom
Thanks for dropping by Freedom, and i am humbled with your compliments

@Freedom
Er, true in a way, but how about you do a separate post on it and we see the contrasting outcomes…. link mine as the source of the debate

@AuntiePop
Hehehe
what about Uncle Pop??

@Chanel
Er, lovely lady, thanks for the advice… i am sure someone is noting these things down

@Igissss
Kudos playa… (to me, and i want a drink for every chic who you… ok, just playing)

@PetesMomz
i hear you as well

@SoloKing
Hehehehe
that Auntie Pop is always on to something!

7 10 2008
Mr. B2B...

@SoloKing
sorry mate, i meant Chanel is always onto something

Auntie Pop is just crazy!!

7 10 2008
chanelno5

Solo Boston Legal ROCKS! Alan Shore is for shiiizzzzz. Where can I get season two??

7 10 2008
Solomon King

@b2b, you made me scroll up n down like crazy till I read your second responses.

@Chanel, yeah, Alan shore is the man! But I like Denny’s idiocy more. And the dames in BL… hott. I think I have season 2 somewhere on pc…

7 10 2008
chanelno5

Yeah Denny is such an idiot. Mad Cow. Can I get a copy? Maybe the whole season? Can I? Can I? Can I? B2B sorry for turning yo joint into an IM. SoloK drop me an email least B2B starts charging per font.

7 10 2008
Tandra

okay… i feel like something went down when i wasnt looking…what gives E?

7 10 2008
Solomon King

hehehe. sawa sawa. I’ll see how to hook you up.

b2b, watagwan?

7 10 2008
Aivan

Gwe Solomon, we have some unfinished business

7 10 2008
Freedom

@B2B okay. I am in the middle of telling an UNCUT story right now, but when I finsh with this story i am telling I will.

Thanks for the idea and the link to your spot!

7 10 2008
the antipop

i swear B2B you have finally done it! broken me. broken my will to live. i took the antichild, i took trampchild, i was begining to warm up to auntie pop. and now you go and make up an Uncle pop??????????????? Really basics?

if i was no dizzy from laughter, i would kill you. please let this be the last time i hear of this. for the sake of your children

7 10 2008
Solomon King

@Aivan, but of course we do.

7 10 2008
valentia

“We men have the capacity to say the meanest things to women, and the worst part is that we are not aware of how what we say hurts/ affects these women….”

I so totally agree…now B2B..I wonder..now that u know all this suffice to say u don’t do this anymore?

7 10 2008
Miss Cheri

B2B, I read the post.

I have always said that Mr. Bad Guy will ride higher than Mr. yes your highness.

Lol, mbu when u don’t care…

7 10 2008
k

this sux!

8 10 2008
MOE

mwana… i thought you were going to advise guys to become the baddestest of bad boys! be a gentleman???!!! We have heard that one already!

8 10 2008
31337

i am a gentleman.

anyone wish to query my status?

10 10 2008
nikki indigo

let me be me, whatever that is. i just had this guy tell me i wasn’t feminine cuz i didn’t wear makeup. i told him “dude, i have a vagina and i love penis. that’s feminine enough for me and the guy i end up with.

i want my man to be a man, whatever that is in relation to me being me. lol

11 10 2008
Freedom

Hey B2B…I did the posted on “Ladyliness”. Check it out when you get a chance. I made it more personal than general. Leave A comment and Tell me what you think!

Peace!!!!

14 10 2008
madmyke

The badboy and the gentleman.I figure its all a balancing act and there is nothing harder than trying to analyse every issue the lady throws at you thruogh both eyes.

10 08 2010
Walkonby

A lot has been said in response to your post B2B
Here’s what I will say.
Any woman worth her weight in gold wont take BS from any man who doesn’t respect himself, let alone her.
The ones you make reference to…running after Mr. Ruff, who walks all over them and spits on them…think about it…evidently these women have a ‘self-esteem’ / ‘self-respect’ screw(s) missing.
Give me Gentle-manliness any day…I have no trouble bumping into rouges, be it in my place of work or in traffic, pshhh
Take it easy 🙂

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