~knowing~understanding~agreeing~

31 10 2008

Many a time, we are in a situation where we are faced with something that irritates the heck out of us… we can’t find anyone to relate to in such a way and as such we feel that it (the issue) is better left untouched, and not brought about…

We guys are very very very very very (ok, you get it don’t you?) guilty of this and the main part being the fact that we can’t really show the “other” side of ourselves…. i.e. the weak sides… (slash) the softer sides (slash) the side that most guys look at their guy friends and are like…..

“Hehehehehe!”

“Dude, are you crying?”

This is mainly because most guys who actually grow up around their parents and siblings and are most likely the ones to take the scoldings/ abuses/ strokes of the canes/ and other stuff……

We know this…

So we don’t trip…

We carefully let someone else in at different times…

And hope that they understand that as much as it may be seen to just be a simple blurting out of issues, or just a simple wording of the facts that are bugging us, it will never ever be easy for a guy to just say crap that is hurting him…

I used to wonder why, because there’s always a solution….. (a solution to crap that is bugging us)

Then it hit me when I crossed the age (Aivan, almost there, near the edge) where I was asked to account for my where-abouts…

Asked to explain what I as up to…. asked who i am with…

When I crossed this point, I then realized to me’self that dawg, it ain’t about whatsherface…

It ain’t about blah-zi-blah…

It’s about you…

And how  your actions influence a whole tonne of peeps who you don’t care to know-tice

Many men do know this…

But they don’t understand this….

And as such don’t agree with it

Then they go around doing whatever they like and running away from all the dramatistikal consequences…

Damn…

Didn’t expect it to go this far…

Slish, can you elongate/ expound/ make it any better…..


Actions

Information

22 responses

31 10 2008
31337

i need some coffee. dont be dogging is what i have read here, something tells me that is not the purpose of this post. b2b, sup?

31 10 2008
mrslish

Okay lemme explain what my brother from another mother is trying to say. Men are taught to be strong and to shed no tears because it shows weakness. Throught out the years I’ve heard women say they want a sensitive man, but as soon as he shows her any kind of REAL emotion he’s categorized as soft. So what’s a guy to do when he’s in an emotional crisis? He holds in the pain or withdraws from it. Making it seem like he doesn’t care when the reality is that he does.

I think you’re realization that one’s negative actions can affect the people in their life speaks volumes. That is a lesson many people never learn probably why the World is in such confusion. People only think about themselves without realizing helping another can get you to where you want be even faster, because the more you give the more you get back.

Running from Drama just causes it to speed up. When it catches you it HITS even harder.

31 10 2008
Val

How interesting…..

But to be honest I wouldn’t know how to react if I see a man crying…unless its something serious like a death or something…and talking LOADS about ur emotions is also a grey area..depends on our r/ship..

Running away from drama….something SOME men are gold medallists at (this is not said in bitterness of course)

31 10 2008
Mr. B2B...

@3
well in a way, but the rope extends to more than just cheating on someone… anyone…

@Slish
you took it home mate
thanks for filling it in and then some
totally appreciate it too

and at such short notice
thanks again

@Val
True dat..

31 10 2008
chanelno5

Me I want me a man who cry every time he wants to

31 10 2008
keish

hi mr. b2b (found ur blog via slish),

i understand what you and slish are saying. my thing is i want a man with his emotions in check. meaning show them sometimes but not ALL the time.

if he cries over every little thing he is a punk and i don’t want no punk. if he gets mad or upset over every little thing his ass is psycho and i don’t want no psycho. or if he can’t have an argument without knowing when it’s not worth continuing, then he gots 2go. so while i understand what you guys are saying, i think that we ALL need to learn emotional stability and be able to face ourselves and whatever we are feeling in a healthy way. i’m not there yet but that’s what i strive for daily.

good post

31 10 2008
Freedom

THE DYNAMIC DUO MR. BASICS AND MR. SLISH WHAT A TEAM EFFORT!!! BRAVO! NOW YOU BOTH WERE BOYS WHO HAVE TURNED INTO MEN SOME PHENOMENAL BLACK MEN!

Only Real Men would even want to figure this behavior out and seek to dialogue about its existence. Thus, trying to come up with solutions to handle their feelings, emotions and life choices responsibly, yet honest enough that at the end of the day when one looks at that reflection in the mirror there is NO doubt about who HE IS and being TRUE to SELF!

IN ADDITION, THIS SPEAKS VOLUMES FOR WOMEN AS WELL. WE HAVE TO ALLOW OUR MEN TO FEEL COMFORTABLE LETTING AND KEEPING THEIR EMOTIONAL JUICES FLOWING AND NOT BELITTLING THEM TO THE POINT THAT THEIR FLOW IS CLOGGED UP BEYOND REPAIR DUE TO OUR MISUNDERSTANDING OF THEM! MEN NEED TO FELL ALL THEIR EMOTIONS TOO JUST LIKE WE WOMEN LADIES WANT TO. MOREOVER, NOT JUDGE HIM OR TRY TO SOLVE HIS PROBLEMS EITHER.

Sometimes people just need someone to talk to that’s it! Someone to bounce ideas off and Men should hope that it is his lady without the instant thought of putting him a category of weakness. I personally think it is GREAT to see a Man trying to be open about his feelings to the point that he wants to communicate his feelings and emotions to a woman. If a Man can’t trust his secrets and vulnerable state to his woman or to women in general then it sounds like to me that “WE” women are the ones who really need to grow up AND BE SUPPORTIVE TO OUR MEN!

31 10 2008
talesandtallies

This was a good post… really when I needed it. I know a dude who is going through a hard time breaking up with his girlfriend, all he needs to show is a little bit of sensitvity that he is hurt and everything will be fine again. But he choses not to. Guys are always afraid to show emotions… Why?well, pride eh…

31 10 2008
Solomon King

Hmmmm…

I guess upbringing somehow determines what kind of guy he turns out into. If you were brought up having to deal with your drama and *ish yourself, then you’ll have your (soft) emotions in check. If on the other hand you always had someone to run to, then your drama ends up controlling you.

Personally, I find it very hard to cry, however deep the drama is, coz I’m just used to bottling the stuff up inside, history, experience and blah blah. It’s not being afraid to show weakness, or being proud, it’s just the way I handle my bidness.

Other guys of course just have pride issues.

31 10 2008
Apr9

I’ve heard it said often tyms that only weak men don’t express their emotions.

SO WAT if a guy cries does it make him a lesser man than he is? Does showin ur emotions define who u r as a man?

1 11 2008
Princess

@ SK: THEY have the issues? 😛
B2B: y’all can cry all you want. Just not where you can be seen! LOL.

1 11 2008
Emi's

Interesting post. Thanks for putting it out bulungi Mr Slish, I was wondering wht b2b was trying to say but he was not making much sense to me. It’s all clear now even his concept.

Real men ain’t supposed to cry but I sometimes understand it when they choose not to show their true emotions.
To be successful, you must portray success even in hardest of times, I know some male friends who live by that saying. Tho some females will strongly disagree with this, It’s not a sign of weakness at all.

outside, it’s o.k to step on people on your way up.

1 11 2008
antipop

do you cry basics?

1 11 2008
Sybella

lol…. princess

i agree with keish. yes it is alright for him to cry but not all the time making him a wimp… like the result of one of Brendan Fraser’s wishes in Bedazzled

1 11 2008
Mr. B2B...

@Chanel
yeah, i hear you, but the way human nature works is such that you would want HIM to MAN the F**K Up about numerous scenarios and JUST DO IT!!

@Keish
Welcome by (read your comment on why your blog is shut down for a bit at Slish’s joint and chuckled)
welcome by again..

Er, about your comment…

Hmmn!
you also seem to have been jazzing with Slish, coz there is a way your comment makes even more sense than what i was trying to say
Thanks for the kudos too..

@Freedom
FREEDOM, girl…
you always kicking up a storm here at B2B’s
sense
sensibility
can’t add much, ‘cept that you added even more sense than i could have..

@TalesAndTallies
welcome by..
you got a joint (read blog) we could visit…
i feel bad for your hommie, coz it can get worse…

@SoloKing
dawg…
you are almost like me, in a way playa!

@Apr9
hadn’t heard that before..
how have you been?
and yeah,
showing emotions of joy, success, and fulfillment are dope
but on the other hand, the ones of sorrow, pain and the like can and should be shared, coz after all they are too emotions…
sometimes though we are expected to just SUCK IT ALL UP and progress…

@Princess
Hehehehe
i hear you..

@Emi’s
Hmmmn
i hear you too..

@AntiPop
have i cried?
yes…
2wice…. alone
and 2wice with…….

1 11 2008
Mr. B2B...

@Sy
Always the LOLs first huh!
LOLsss…

co-signing with Keish huh

1 11 2008
eddsla

I believe it totally depends on the situation u be in.
that talk of i hear men sh’dn’t cry is bull,unless if u sayin’ men ain’t human and they don’t have emotions.

Good post bro.

1 11 2008
Freedom

B2B I post some understanding on this issue awhile back thought i would share my findings. Thanks for the love & support. http://freedomfreed.blogspot.com/2008/09/men-theyre-human-too.html

1 11 2008
Madmyke

Sometimes the guy just wants the chiq to listen(the same thing she expects you to do) and pliz dont offer your advice,let the dude let it out.The fact that he is telling you the ish in his I reckon he expects you to LISTEN.

2 11 2008
Apr9

@ B2B…..its gettin too cold out.

SUCK IT ALL UP and it will soon BLOW UP.

2 11 2008
Miss Cheri

U’re becoming quite the senga here.

Men should cry…in hiding!!!!!!

2 11 2008
Tandra

hahahahahahaha @the senga

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: