17 08 2009

I ain’t never been a rushy kind… not even the pushy kind. Maybe the showy kind, just a lil bit… but mostly, just the kinda fella that loves to take things nice n slow.

When I was attempting to hit on a chic, this usually went the wrong way, coz they never could stand my patience… Most close friends of mine used to wonder whether I really wanted what it was that I was aiming at…. Always with the wry smile and the knowing look, coz see, truth is I always kinda knew what I wanted, that which comes from watchin’ n waitin’. Patiently.

I never ever really really bothered.. there were’nt no rush, right? I mean, come on, it would eventually work itself out. Not really, see. I always had a plan. Always have, always will.

I would always be a schemer… planning six moves ahead of the game, enjoying the chase and thirsting for the victory.

A calculating son-of-a-gun, A smoothe operator, a patient gentleman… tip of the hat, coat slung over the shoulder, quick kiss on the cheek for the lady, a subtle bow for the audience and a patient lazy stroll out the door, leavin all the haters n players with mouths hangin open wonderin who the heck this dude is. Remember the name!

I would always take my time when doing things my way, and make sure that things would work out as carefully as I had planned them… what is life if not an adventure? And you can choose to play it hard and fast. Me? I chose the long analytical route. Plan, execute, review. Worked wonders. For a while…

As I grew older, I tended to be more flexible and face the real situations…. I learned that nada is always as it seems and incorporated the lessons of PapaBasiks, and MamaBasiks, and Uncle Oscar who taught me that life ain’t set of equations, but an experiment in anarchy. That nothing went according to plan. Uncle Oscar, bless his pimp soul, taught me to have a plan B, an exit. An act for the final curtain call.

Add that to what I learned through sheer hard work, it allowed me to be even more patient in the drama called life, whose script writer always has a red pen, eraser and whiteout nearby. A messy job this.

When TheHotness bought me the Bible I asked her to in April last year, I took some special time to read some of my favorite chapters in the good book. Somebody hola at Ephesians, Ecclesiastes, and yes, Galatians…. QuotingTime “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” And check this out, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”

From then on out I struggled with finding each page to turn until TheHotness added my library with a personal favourite of mine called EverydayWithJC… Book got game, took me through some rough times and still keeps me patiently walking through the good book every other day.

This book is a pocket filler (in size) and is an ongoing tribute to the theory of graduality, and how we are blessed enough to accept that as much as patience delays, patience does pay!

So now that the words have been filled out and the story is still incomplete, you will actually notice that this is not another Basik outline like I usually drop ‘em… You know, Princess aka SeamlessNess, with a dope intro, a cheesy mid-section and a dope as hell lesson at the end…

This time the lesson in graduality is mine to learn…

I have recently been in the face of Basikness (forgive the over-usage, I am trying to hint at something here), and had to sit down with me’self and ask myself the tough queries… The ones that allow you to take a look at the yesterday and plan for the morrow, and sometimes, every once in a while, to just take a chill, forget life’s dramastikalness and live in the now.

My skills built in graduality are being put to the test, and wondering at all if the whole theory of planning and strategy are relevant… Feels like just sticking to your guns is more relevant! The wise man put it well in Ecclesiastes; For everything, there is a season, a time a purpose under heaven. That same wise man turned full circle and played out the “life is meaningless” lyric.

When you do something with utmost preps, and such careful precision, you are always waiting with bated breathe. Waiting for a chill out period when you can call TheHotness and let her know how that thing which you jazzed about last month has made progress, and when she smiles, you hear it in her voice…

Graduality is a sucker, and many times makes you want to have a special hotline to hola at God and ask him to speed things up a bit. Crazies thing, I actually have a number in my phone with like a million sevens in it and it’s labelled… “God”… for those moments that border between goofiness and insanity.

But when reality dawns on you and you’re hollering at the Big Man to make things go a wee bit faster, that’s when you realise… we are not the one to make that call are we?

hola at the SoloDawgKing for the mad skillz in this collabo


8 07 2009

The entire truth about guys is one and only one…

Guys like chics…

The reasons may vary, and sometimes may just dilly dally around it, but it is very simple…

Guys like chics…

Chics are crazy

Chics are soft

Chics are weird

Chics are warm

Chics are demanding

Chics are patient

Chics are fine to look at even on their bad hair days

Chics are impatient

Chics are insistent

Chics are hott

Chics are………

Anyways, you get the drift…

The main issue of this post is not circling around chics only, but the fact that the debate on chics and their emotion is one of the main movers of the earth….

You see, if chics were not as emotional as they are, guys would be on a major heart breaking spree… and that include even the nice guys…

Chics being the bag of she-motions that they are and guys being, you know, suave, collected, well-rounded, chauvinist (is it showing yet?), the meeting is usually quite a sight.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner, weighing 200 pounds of pure muscle, 3 pounds of facial hair, 6 pounds of body hair and 1 pound of undisclosed hair, with a 5-3-1 record: 5 wins (in which the ladies fell for him, hook, line and sinker), 3 losses (in which attitude-queens sent him packing) and 1 draw (in which they had ‘fun’ but didn’t exchange numbers),

I present BUBBA. (wild cheers from the guys)

In the pink corner, weighing…weight undisclosed for obvious reasons. But she’s lean, she’s mean, her body screams a three-letter appeal that the editor won’t publish. She boasts a 3-3 record. 3 wins (in which she ditched the bastards) and 3 losses (she still calls them, they never pick), I present BUBBLE. (wild cheers from the guys, the traitors)

The clash is always epic. Guy takes jab at chic.


I must admit that this time, you will have to wrap it up at Sleek’sJoint…

He has set priority on this one… so just scoot over there…


24 06 2009

Oh, just scoot over to Sleek’s for the intro


For every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction, in physics that is…

In life, (hold your breath, get your pens, Carsozy quit licking that sugar, take the sugar bowl back), for every action, there is USUALLY an equal and opposite reaction. The USUALLY is a buffer for the various experiences the person has been in and the lessons they have learnt, or haven’t learnt. I see the blank looks (AuntiePop, don’t trip but smile at Uncle), the shifting in the seats, the reaching for the now-empty mineral water bottles… I know that only SoloDawgKing has understood.

Maybe not.

Teacher me, teacher me!!!!

Yes, lulu

Please explain…

Ok lulu, but first stop sending Carsozy notes eh?(stern look).. Pay attention!

Now, yes, whenever something happens, we react according to some template at play in our lives. This template exists, and we follow it religiously, whether consciously or unconsciously. (Mr.Slish, any sense here?)

We are nice to people because past experience has shown that this yields good results. Either that or mummy and daddy said that we should be nice. Or the Bible.

Woman takes a hiding from ‘her man’ and doesn’t do a thing because she was taught that if he loves you, he beats you. Whack theory that.

Dude steals the drugs meant for the sick and dying not because he doesn’t feel for the faceless dying people around the country but because he feels he has needs, needs that his fat salary would never be able to allow him satisfy, and most importantly, he has seen others get away with it. (Tumwi, incensing huh?)

Boda Boda guy rides like he is on heat because he feels he comes off more manly doing so and that he actually is in the right, even when he swerves right across your path. (Edgy, I hear you mate)

The receptionist acts rude because she doesn’t think highly of you and she feels you are interrupting her all-too-important game of solitaire. And she knows from experience that if she acts like there’s a stove under her seat, you’ll ask few questions and leave ASAP, tail between legs. (eddslah, where you running to?)

Taxi conductor bothers you for money every five seconds because several people have walked out without paying the fare before. And yes, even those dressed very smartly so you do not necessarily look like you have the chump change to pay the fare. (IgissRIP, is that why you bought the V-dub Bora)

He with a voice that peels paint off walls insists on singing because Jimmy, his buddy, is doing so well. And none of his friends complain when he breaks into sing-along when Mariah Carey is playing.

The template is always at work. It is tweaked by people we talk to (as they tell us their experiences and as we watch what they go through), movies we watch, books we read (and draw inspiration from the well-leafed Mills and Boon under our pillows, UG girl, must have been exchanging them with Heaven and EriqueDawg here huh!) and situations we go through.

The trickiest bit is determining which bits of our template aren’t doing us justice. The even trickier bit is smoothing out these bits that need smoothing out… (Chanel, any sense…)

You suddenly realize that you get angry too fast, then what?

You start paying closer attention to your he-motions/she-motions. You realize that you don’t take a joke about you too well. Then what? Do you start laughing at every wise crack about you?  (WalkingOnBy, I hear you smiling here)

That template…that template.

Truth of the ish remains, that the way we react can and will never be perfect, and indeed is affected by that weird sorta template…

Only ish that really matters is dealing with how that template can be altered bit by bit by allowing us to look at ourselves in a different light and then and only then do we realize that the collabo post between Sleekdawg and B2B actually makes some sense…

Only trouble is realizing it for yourself that only you can change your habits to thus change your reactions and then stop wondering why Peeps like Sleekdawg more than B2B…

Wait, that came our wrong…


Anyways, major hola at TheSleeknessHimself for an amazing collabo mate… dude, i am a huge fan…